Going back to work

Tomorrow i return to work. I've been off since September and over these past 7 months all i've thought about was going back to work. To me work was like a vacation. it was the first time in 5 years i had any "me" time, and i loved it! however now that the day is almost here I have very mixed feelings about it. I do love my job and I want to go back, i just hate that it is so soon after the loss of Rob's dad and our move, as all these changes have been super hard on Olivia. She doesn't leave my side. She even sits on her little stool in the bathroom while I take a shower. If I sit down, she sits on me. If i leave the room, she follows. It's been driving me a bit crazy but I know that it is only temporary. I'm not sure how me going to work is going to affect her. It helps that my best fried (Livy's Auntie) will be keeping her until Nadia get's done school in June, but it will still be hard. I'll keep you posted on how we all adjust.

Thanks for your kind words on my last post Roni and jude! I really apprciate your thoughtfulness.

so glad that is done with

Well, we are all moved in. However, I don't think our move will ever be thought of with happy thoughts as the loss of Rob's dad will always be associated with that time. Rob's dad passed away the night before we moved. Nadia was devestated! This has been the hardest thing for me to deal with as a mom yet. She was so upset. Violently shaking and sobing and crying out for her Grampy. It broke my heart to see her in such pain. Rob's dad was 83 but he wasn't the kind of man who wanted his grandkids to be seen and not heard. He had tea parties with them every visit. he held them on his knee and listened to them talk about their day. He hugged them every chance he got and always told them how much he loved them. When he was in the hospital his room was filled with pictures they drew and colored for him. he showed every nurse, every doctor, every visiter. When he found out he was going to die and they transfered him to a private room, those pictures were all he cared about. We took the girls to visit him on Monday and we held them both up because he couldn't sit up. He reached out his hand to touch them and i'll never forget the look in his eyes. The look of knowledge that this would be the last time he got to see them. He loved my girls and they loved him. Nadia asked me how she would remember him because she's afraid she will forget. I told her we have to talk about him every day and look at his pictures and that would keep his memory alive in our heart forever.

So needless to say, i'm glad that the move is over and that the past month is behind us. Nadia has started at her new school and is doing well. She is making new friends and really likes her teacher. i start back to work on Saturday. It sure is a lot of changes for my girls.

Overwhelmed and exhusted

Rob got devestating news last night. his dad is dying. They took him in for an emergcy surgery yesterday evening and found that he has bowel cancer and there is nothing they can do but make him comfortable. His dad was still really dopey from being put under when they left at 10:00pm last night so they went back to do to give him the news. Actually by now i'm sure they've told him. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to tell my father that he is going to die and that he most likly will never be outside of the hospital again.

So Rob has been at the hospital a lot this week. Thursday they tried a procedure to help his dad and it took 9 hours, Friday we all went to visit and yesterday was the surgery where they found the cancer. We move on Wednesday.....i don't know how we will be ready. I'm trying to get it done....but i'm so tired. We probably have 75% of our stuff packed and I paked 65% of that all by myself. I'm beat! But when I start to feel sorry myself I think of how Rob is feeling....He is overwhelmed too...this was his weekend to pack and now this happens. He says he is going to stay up all night tonight and pack, but I hate to see him do that.

anyway, this is really just another vent from me. Please be thinking of Rob's family.

please let me vent

This post is a vent for me...please don't find me selfish for how I'm feeling....

I really feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders right now and I'm seriously worried that I'm going to loose it...1st of all we have the move happening next week. I'm so excited about it and if packing was the only thing I had to worry about then everything would be fine but unfortunatly Rob's dad is in the hospital and he has been for almost 3 weeks and there really isn't any sign of him getting out any time soon. He is in the Saint John hosptial so Rob hasbeen driving to work in Moncton and then driving to Saint John every other day. That has been hard enough on me (having to deal with the kids those days) but I've been managing, and we go with him accassionaly. Fast forward to today....Rob's sister came down from NS to stay for awhile. She is sleeping at Rob's dad's place but I have to cook for her while she's here...no big deal, really. The big deal is that even though she is here with her own car she wants Rob to drive her to the hosptial EVERY DAY when he gets home from work. EVERYDAY!!! How am I supposed to pack, clean and look after our children with no help? When i questioned Rob on why she couldn't drive herself once in awhile he got angry with me!!! i'm just so stressed out and I don't know what to do right now.....maybe I am just selfish

Finally!!!!!

Well, it seems my blog is working now....i'm really not sure what was wrong or why it all of a sudden is working, and of coarse, now that it is, I don't even feel like I really have any thing of intrest to write about.

The closing date for our new home is April 11 and I can't wait! I am so sick of having boxes every where. We starting packing early so that the house would be decultterd for showings and then we didn't end up having to show it. We decided it would still be smart to pack what we could so we have had boxes every where for the past month and it's driving me crazy!!! I just can't wait to get settled in to the new house. I return to work April 21 so unpacking will need to happen quickly.

Nadia will start at her new school April16 and i'm soooo nervous for her. She is such an outgoing little girl and she makes friends so easy but I hate that i'm making her start over. I'm sure i'm more sad about it then she is. I took her to meet her classmates last week and she did fine. At first she was clinging to my legs (so out of character for her) and she never did want me to leave but in the end she wanted to go back to that school and not her current one.

On to a completly different topic. I LOVE FACEBOOK! if you haven't checked it out yet you really need to. I'm warning you that it's very addictive! I've gotten in contact with so many of my friends from highschool and college. It's great!

Well, It's getting late and I have a good book waiting for me in bed....hopefully my blog won't give me any more problems and I can keep you all updated with our move. I'll try to have some pictures to post soon too.