torn

Lately I find myself torn. Livy is going through a phase where she wants to be with me at all times. Actually not just with me but on me. She is constatnly wrapped around my leg if i'm standing and drapped over me if i'm sitting. No matter where we go or what we are doing she is glued to me. Part of me wants to hold on tight and never let go (she is my last baby after all) but then the other part of me just gets so frustrated and just wants to have a few minutes to myself. Some times I find myself telling her to just go play or just leave me alone for a few minutes and then I feel so guilty because I know in only a few short years i'll be begging her to hold my hand. So i'm torn...She is almost 2 1/2. A "big girl" in so many ways and yet little in many ways too. She is so different then Nadia. nadia has always been so out going and really could care less if i'm around or not (except for the 1st 19 months of her life when she's scream if anyone else held her). Olivia is so much more shy and timid. She feels safe with me and the love just pours out of her when she looks in my eyes. So I'm torn...do I hold her and hug her and snuggle her all the time or is it time that I start trying to get her more comfortable on her own?

new pictures of the girls

I still haven't figured out the art of posting pictures and then writing beside them. For some reason my pictures post all over the place.
















Most of these pictures were taken the day we decorated our tree.

This picture shows a portion of the lights we have on the outside of our house this year.

the ones of us all outside are from the night of the santa cluase parade.

nadia's picture with santa

My "little girl" is sure growing up! She is really starting to look so big!

Not really much new to write about (sorry Roni, guess my life's just not that interesting). We got a crap load of snow today and i'm feeling a little blah. Not sure if the 2 are related or not. I think it's just one of those days. We all have them I'm sure.

I'm going to be pretty busy over the next couple of weeks. Tomorrow is Nadia very 1st dance retail (and yes i'll have lots of pics!!!), Thursday night is our family Christmas potluck at the family resource center, Friday night is the management staff party for Rob's work (if we can find a sitter), Sunday Nadia has a birthday party to attend, Monday is my board of directors Christmas meal, Tuesday is a cookie exchange, and then that saturday is another Christmas party!!! Wow! I think i'm going to be pretty tired by the time Christmas is over with.

What about this one?

I'm about 3 or 4 here so a little closer to Nadia's age now. I think Livy looks more like me then Nadia. People have always said that Nadia looks like Rob. I can see us both in her. What do you think?

What do you think?

Livy as a baby










and here is me at around the same age

From our family to yours

To show how much the girls have grown I'm posting last year's family picture with Santa.

And here is this year's.

Once again, our family got their picture taken with Santa. We did the same thing last yer because we couldn't get in anywhere prior to Christmas to get a family picture done. We enjoyed it so much last yeat that we just decided to go ahead and do it agian this year. Besides I don't think livy would sit on Santa's knee without us quite yet.

I really don't have a lot to update about. I started decorating yesterday, only a few days behind schedule. We will be getting our tree on Saturday and decorating it on Sunday. I'm VERY excited to do that. There is nothing like the peaceful feeling of a lit up Christmas tree. Also begging on Dec 1st Rob and I will start up our yearly tradition of writing notes to each other for the 24 days leading up to Christmas. This will be the 6th year that we've done this.

Well, livy is determined that I should not be sitting at the computer right now so I guess that's all for now.

family time

Is family time really becoming a lost practise? Saturday we put up our outdoor Christmas lights as a family. Rob did most of the work while the girls and I played tag and ran around acting silly. Then we went for a short walk and just enjoyed the time together. On Sunday at church a man that we do not know came up to Rob to say that he and his wife drove by our home while we were all outside together the previous day and how they thought it was such a beautiful sight to see a family having fun together. He said it's something they don't see anymore. We graciously accepted the compliment but I can't help but think, "why don't families spend time together anymore"? I know we are busy these days. Most families have a mom and dad that both work but come on! What happened to family games and movie nights. What about eating together as a family? I refused to sign Nadia up for a particular activity last year because it would mean 2 nights a week not being able to cook for and eat with my family. Family time is important to me, I think it helps bond our family together. I wish that out society as a whole would put more priority in family time. I'll even go as far to say that if they did maybe more families would stay together.

Tracy

opps

sorry about all the empty space in the post below....i'm not sure what happened there.

a couple of new pictures of my girls

These pictures were taken at the Moncton Hospital when the girls and I went to visit a friend of ours that had just had a new baby.











I love Livy's eyes in this picture. To me it's like they were caught doing something.





















I thought this picture captured the special bond that my girls have with each other.

Christmas spirit

I am so excited for christmas this year!!! i think every year I get more and more excited. I'm more like a kid at christmas then many kids that i know and the older I get the more like a kid at christmas I become! Maybe it's becuase my own children are getting older and and therefore understand the magic of christmas more each year, or maybe it's because christmas is so materialized that you can't help but be bombared with images of the holidays. I don't know what the reason is, but I LOVE CHRISTMAS! I not only love the magical feeling you get over the holidays and the true meaning of Christmas (which of coarse is very important to me) but I also love all the things about christmas the most people hate. i love christmas shopping and I love the crowds of people. I could do without the long lines (i'm not that sick!) but I love watching eveyone hustle around looking for the perfect gifts for their friends and loved ones. I love how that busy time makes you stop and think about other people and what would make them happy. I also love wrapping presents!!! I have absolutly every I've bought for the girls already wrapped this year. It's amazing!!! I am way ahead of schedule. I also love christmas baking. So far I've made shortbread cookies, gingerbread men, and fudge!!! (Maybe I could start selling it or something). I just can't wait for Christmas!!!! I'm totally chomping at the bit to get out all my decorations but I'm showing a little restraint and will wait until November 25th. I will also wait until that day to turn on my christmas music.

i don't really have much to update on the girls today. They both just got over colds and Nadia had a little break from school. She got sent home last Wednesday with a pink eye scare and I kept her home Thursday because she was up coughing so much in the night wednesday night. Friday and Monday there was no school so she got to spend a lot of time with us and it was great! Even Nadia said how much she enjoyed spending "family time" with us.

Life is good!
Tracy

Nadia's school picture

This is Nadia's very 1st school picture! Sometimes it's still hard for me to believe that she's in school now! She is doing really well in Kindigarten and so far hasn't gotten into too much trouble. Although it does seem like she's a bit of a chatterbox (not sure where she'd get that from, ha ha). She has made lots of friends and seems to be learning tons of new stuff. She can now print every letter of the alphabet upper and lower case and can spell small words such as; mom, it, is, a, he, and she. Report cards come home near the end of this month and i'm looking forward to seeing hers.

My baby is sure growing up!

Happy Halloween

Here a couple of pictures from Halloween. These are all from different Halloween parties we attended the week preceding Halloween. I still have to upload the ones from last night to my computer.

I still haven't figured out how to have my words show up above and inbetween the pictures that I post on here.

I'll try and post some more picture later this week and give an update.

a couple of pictures

A great week!

Do you ever think about something that you're scared that as soon as the words come out of your mouth you'll totally jinx it? That's how I feel as i sit down to type this post. I'm actually scared that if I write these words everything will fall apart. But I'm going to do it....here goes. This has been a great week!!! The girls have gotten along really well. The screaming in this house has really been limited to normal things that little girls scream about. More then that, I've felt really great. Really happy. I haven't had one down day this week and that is momumentous for me!! It's funny how a person't mood can really change how things effect them. Like this week I actually feel like a good mom! It's pretty great!

Tonight we are taking the girls to Boo at the Zoo in Moncton. Livy is pretty much scared of everything right now so it could be interesting how she'll react. Nadia on the other hand is at the age where she understands the difference between read things and fake things so she's like "bring on the scary stuff". She's already told me that daddy should take her to see the scary paths and that i should stay with livy and do the not scary ones. I'll let you know how it goes.

Nadia's birthday party

Nadia had her birthday party yesterday. This year we had it at the local bowling alley and it went really well. She had a lot of fun and so did all the other kids so I was very happy about that. There were a few littler ones there so I wasn't sure how bowling would go with them but they had a ball (no pun intented!!!). Nadia got lots of great gifts that I was totally anticipateing (and dreading with how kids toys are packaged these days) having to open pretty much as soon as we walked through the door. However, instead she played with the helium filled balloons and the cheap plastic toys from in her pinaita (i have no idea how to spell that word). Actually, here it is the morning after her party and she still has not asked to have any of the toys taken out of their packages. Hmm....is that a sign she has too many toys?

As soon as I figure this whole blogging thing out i'll post some pictures here.

Tracy

5 years already

Well, here it is, my first blog ever. Not sure that I'll do this on a regular basis as i really don't think my life is quite interesting enough to update about frequently. Today I just kind of felt inspired to write....as of yesterday I have been a mother for 5 years! 5 Years!!! I feel like i've blinked and the years have gone by. It's amazing really. I'm not one of those mothers who misses the baby days and tells everyone to cherish each moment and each stage. Not to say that you shouldn't, but i think it's ok to look forward instead of always looking back. Does that make any sence at all. In my head it does but i'm not sure that it can be written the way i feel. I really love watching Nadia grow up! The future excites me, of coarse some aspects terrify me, but usually the excitment out ways the fear. Sometimes i'll look at Nadia (and Livy too) and it will still amaze me that she came from me. I don't think that feeling ever goes away for any mother.

I'm not a perfect mom and over these past 5 years I've made many mistakes, and hopefully learned from them. I've learned more about myself in these past 5 years then I did in all the other years of my life combined! Being a mother has truly made me a better person.